What is trauma?

Today, I want to clear up a common question we get in the counseling room: "What is trauma?" Even among therapists, there's a lot of confusion and different takes on what trauma really means. This makes it hard to address, whether you're a therapist, someone who's been through trauma, or just trying to help a loved one.

According to the DSM-IV, trauma is an experience that shakes up your life in a big way. It's something that feels intense while it's happening and often continues to impact you long after. Trauma can change how you see yourself and the world. And it's not just about what happens to you directly—it can also come from witnessing something distressing or learning about something traumatic that happened to someone you care about.

For example, if a family member goes through a severe illness, their experience can be traumatic for you, too. Trauma doesn't just stick to the person directly involved; it can spread through families and communities.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapists see trauma as experiences that haven't been fully processed or have been processed in a way that's harmful. This means you might come away with negative beliefs about yourself or feel triggered whenever you think about the event.

Say you were bitten by a dog as a kid. Even if you meet a super friendly dog later on, you might still feel unsafe, triggered by that past bite. The friendly dog's behavior—wagging its tail, showing its belly—doesn't matter because your past trauma is still dictating your response.

Trauma can mess with relationships, too. If a breakup leaves you feeling unlovable, you might start sabotaging future relationships, maybe by being overly suspicious or withdrawing emotionally. These reactions often come from unresolved trauma that needs proper processing.

A lot of times, people think they should be "over" a traumatic event, but they still struggle with it. This is a common misunderstanding that can really get in the way of healing. Trauma doesn't follow a set timeline, and its effects can linger. It's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings, no matter how long it's been.

Thanks for reading. I hope this was an interesting and thought-provoking moment in your day. Go out and do some good in the world today!